This International Women’s Day, I ask you…

This International Women’s Day I ask you…

…to be the change you want to see in the world.

To be independent in ways that matter, and let your people help you in ways that matter, without calling it helplessness.

To be more than angry at injustice: to do something about it.

To think of yourself as a first class citizen, and to not listen to others, including other women, who call you subordinate.

To understand that to be a strong woman does not mean being a bully. To not hide abusive behaviour behind the banner of Feminism.

To look around you, see a woman who needs to borrow your strength, and tell her, “You have the power, my Sister.”

To understand that to be a powerful woman is to still be a woman, not a woman with masculine qualities. Womanhood is powerful by its own nature and doesn’t need the masculine to help it.

Share this with the women in your life. And the men who love and support them.

Print it off and shove it in the bums of men who don’t get it. 😀

Second Class Citizens My Ass

A friend of mine has dual citizenship, and he is livid. Prime Minister Harper has really done it this time.

Bill C-24 literally creates two classes of citizens in Canada. First Class Citizens are born here and have only citizenship in Canada. Second Class Citizens are people who have emigrated here, and people who were born here but have dual citizenship. Second class citizens, including those who were born here, can have their citizenship revoked.

And this decision can be made by a bureaucrat, without benefit of judge and jury, and their decision is final. There is no appeal process.

blink blink

Wait… what???

i’m sorry, did i go to sleep in modern day Canada and wake up in Nazi Germany?!?!

They are saying that this is part of the war on terrorism. Jeez, one attack in a hundred years and we’re becoming a police state?

Holy Fuck That, Batman.

It is widely known among politicians that you need a good disaster to put fear into people so they’ll let you trample their rights. i have been watching this happen since 9/11 in the USA, but i didn’t expect it in the sensible north. The attack on Ottawa was terrible, but why do my friends here, thousands of miles away and perfectly innocent of any crime, have to pay for that man’s actions?

This is the last straw. Please, for the love of all things Canadian, do NOT vote that idiot back into power in the next election. At this point, i will take even the Marijuana Party over him. It’s like he is intentionally trying to mow down the country…

Happiness Is Not A Random Occurrence

Sunny day on my toes.

Sunny day on my toes.

My roomie has a second job where she works with one other person, let’s call him Bob, and the guy is chronically depressed.  As they chatted while working, he started talking about how he feels like committing suicide on a regular basis.

Suicide is one of his favourite topics.  He gets people to freak out, try to help him, tell him why life is worth living and why he’s such a great guy, and other assorted attention.  This has been his process since childhood, and he’s in his late thirties.  We have known him for over a decade.

So, Roomie decides not to play anymore.  “How would you do it?” she asked, and they embarked on a discussion of ways and means.

Jumping off a building was a choice, and she replied, “Yes, but make sure you don’t land on anyone.”  Then she started talking about how cool it would be to go around and find donors for your organs before you kicked off.  He blinked at her, like the idea of caring for the health and safety of another was foreign to him.  Depressed people can be deeply self-absorbed.  i personally think self-involvement is one of the root causes of depression, as it severs our connection to the tribe.

Over the years, I’ve noticed a few things about Bob.

  1. Bob wants drugs to make him happy. They are anti-depressants, sleeping pills, lithium, whatever may be the drug of the day.
  1. Bob makes little effort to improve his own life, beyond applying for more free stuff from the government.
  1. Bob feels that no one in the world has ever suffered as he has. *gurl sneezes and it sounds suspiciously like ‘Auschwitz’*
  1. Bob feels no responsibility toward the happiness or well being of others, but feels the world owes him everything.
  1. Bob believes that happiness is an occurrence, and equates it with the absence of pain.
  1. Bob lives in constant fear.

Happiness is NOT the absence of pain

If bad stuff has happened to you, and if you are chronically unhappy, you may think you would be happy if all that bad stuff hadn’t happened to you.

You’re wrong.

The most joyful people you will ever find are those who live in war zones.  Their senses are sharpened, they are acutely aware of the fleeting nature of life, and they live every day as if it were their last, because it may very well be their last.

Happiness does not come from the absence of bad experiences.  Take away the pain and joy will not automatically fill the void.

This is why medication will only take you so far.  Yes, if your neuro-chemistry is out of balance, your doctor may give you medication to correct it.

But joy does not come out of a bottle.  A happy life cannot be prescribed. Damaged people don’t get fixed by blaming the world for their unhappiness.  And the television does not hold the answers you seek.

Happiness Takes Work

If we want to have a happy life, we must first accept the fact that happiness is not an occurrence, but a consequence.

Happiness occurs when we do things that our bodies and brains perceive as Good.  Real, honest Good, like eating nourishing food, participating in an activity we’re genuinely passionate about, expending effort toward a worthy purpose, setting goals and meeting them, establishing a solid core value system, learning, growing, connecting with the tribe, building a tribe, challenging ourselves, etc.

Not artificial good, like watching a TV program, bashing politicians, drinking alcohol, taking drugs, criticizing everyone around us, eating junk food, picking apart someone else’s accomplishment, dwelling on bad experiences of the past or any of the other gazillions of self-indulgent things that feel good in the short term but only feed the worst of us.

Do you want to be really, genuinely happy?

Find the best of you.  Feed it.

Look around.  Forget for a minute about your incessant needs.  What do others need?  How can you help them?

What is your purpose?  Why are you here?  Who are you?  Roll up your sleeves and dig into these questions with gusto.  Without the answers, we are no more than automatons, empty vessels ready to follow like sheep anyone who comes along with an idea that ‘feels okay.’  People like Charles Manson.

It takes a lot of courage to live a happy life, but courage is a muscle.  Flex it, and next time it will be stronger.  And the time after that, even stronger.  And so on.

And one day, seemingly by accident, you will find that you are too busy living your richly satisfying life to dwell on past hurts, insecurities, social anxieties and the like.

There is so much joy in this world.  Go find it, bring it home, make love to it and watch your demons fly away.

Oxygen is your friend

i know this seems like a cheesy, eighties workout video, which it is, but so many people i know can’t do the higher impact exercises, like running or swimming. Also, if you have sleep apnea and/or asthma, your body may not be getting properly oxygenated in the normal course of a day.

The most fundamental aspect of life is breathing. We can go days without water, weeks without eating, years without love. But without oxygen? Literally, you will be dead in minutes. So why do we take it for granted so badly? We buy bottled water and organic foods, but pay no attention at all to the air we take in.

Oxygen feeds everything important in your body. Muscles, brain, heart — soul? How fulfilled can we be if we have no energy and our brains don’t work right? How can we climb out of a pit of depression with a fuzzy brain?

i discovered this type of exercise a lot of years ago, and every now and then i remember to do it, especially at tax season when i’m sitting at a desk a lot.

Remember to try for an oxygen-rich environment. Indoor spaces, like offices and houses, have a lot of influences on the air quality, like heating, cooking, dust, mold, breathing, etc. Even if you can crack a window when you do it, you will increase your oxygen intake.

Try it with me, if you’re so inclined. i will be doing about fifteen minutes a day throughout tax season. Wish me luck. 🙂

The Definition of Consent


With this Jian Ghomeshi stuff going on, I want to have a word about consent and how it is legally defined. (FYI i have come to no conclusions whatsoever about his guilt or innocence. That is for the court to decide.)

Consent means full awareness of what is happening to you. It means you know beforehand what is going to be done, and you agree to it. If you consent to eating a tart and then get blindfolded and fed a steak dinner, that is non-consensual. Continue reading